Discord VS Deadpool
Description Hasbro VS Disney! Two comedic former villains teleport into the ring! Which near-immortal will finally be slain? And how long can the fourth wall last in such a fight? Interlude Wiz: Immortality is the ability to live forever or eternal life. And today, we got two comedic nigh-unkillable beings who used to be villains taking each other on. Boomstick: Discord, the spirit of chaos and disharmony... Wiz: And Deadpool, the Merc with a mouth. Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. Discord Wiz: Discord was Princess Celestia's predecessor as ruler of Equestria and caused chaos throughout for earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi alike. Nobody dared stand up to his outrageous rule until Luna and Celestia used the Elements of Harmony to turn him to stone, and took his throne from him. Boomstick: That's what ya get for causing chaos. Heh heh heh! Wiz: However, since she and Luna were no longer in connection with the Elements of Harmony, the spell imprisoning Discord had failed and he escaped from his stone prison and caused chaos once again... until the Mane Six turned him to stone once again with the Elements of Harmony. Boomstick: Then Princess Celestia had the brilliant idea to bring the stone Discord before the Mane Six and tell them she could make use of his magic if they could reform him. Wiz: After Discord finally understood the consequences of his actions and the magic of friendship, he indeed reformed. Boomstick: As an embodiment of Chaos, Discord appears to be borderline omnipotent. He has manifested a great number of abilities and skills over the course of the My Little Pony franchise. And I suggest you take a chair and sit down cuz this is a LONG list of abilities. Wiz: Discord is capable of altering reality into many ways and can restore reality back into it's original state. Discord is also able to teleport from one place to another. Boomstick: Discord can also fly using his wings. But what's the point of wings when you can float in the air? Wiz: Like Pinkie Pie, Discord also appears to be aware he is in a cartoon. He can also cause extremely unlikely events to occur within his vicinity, such as chocolate milk rain. Boomstick: Hold on a second! Eternal chaos comes with chocolate rain, Wiz. Chocolate rain! ' ''Pinkie Pie appears. Pinkie Pie: Hey, that's my line! And thanks for mentioning me, Wiz! Wiz: No problem. Now can you get out of here? You're not even in this battle. Pinkie Pie: Okie dokie lokie! Bye guys! Pinkie Pie leaves. Wiz: Um, anyway, Discord was able to know all the strengths and weaknesses of the Mane Six as well as their names, without ever having met them before...somehow. '''Boomstick: Do you think he knows our names, Wiz? Wiz: Um, Discord only exists in a cartoon, so how would- Discord appears. Discord: Boo! Both Wiz and Boomstick scream, startled. Discord laughs. Discord: You should've seen the looks on your faces! Priceless! Discord leaves. Boomstick: Can we please not put him in another Death Battle again, Wiz? Along with another My Little Pony character? Wiz: We won't Boomstick, I promise. Anyway, Discord can make objects appear out of thin air, like food or clothing. Boomstick: He can also make animals and creatures appear out of thin air and create nearly anything. Wiz: Discord can also use cartoon physics by stretching his limbs, moving very fast, turning his mouth upside down and appearing out of unexpected places. Discord appears again. Discord: Like this! Wiz and Boomstick scream. Wiz: Will you stop it, Discord?! Discord: (Laughing) I can't help it! It's too funny! Boomstick: God, I hope Deadpool kills you. Discord: And I hope he kills you too. Boomstick: AH! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME, DEADPOOL! Deadpool appears. Deadpool: I'm not gonna kill you, Boomstick! I'm gonna kill '''you', Discord!'' Discord: You clearly didn't listen when Wiz and Boomstick were listing out my abilities, which are superior to yours. Deadpool: Then how do you explain this?! The scene where the Mane Six defeat Discord with the Elements of Harmony is shown until it pauses and turns gray. Discord: I was just being an idiot back then! I won't be an idiot this time! Deadpool: Sure you won't. '' Wiz: WILL YOU BOTH SHUT UP AND GET OUT OF HERE?! ''Discord and Deadpool: Ah! Alright, we're going! Both Discord and Deadpool leave. Boomstick: Thank God that's over! Wiz: ANYWAY, Discord can also manipulate the behavior of animals, the physics of the world and the areas of a labyrinth. Boomstick: Discord is also able to manipulate celestial objects at will to have a game of nighttime daytime. Wiz: Discord can also manipulate and control the laws of nature into any way he want. Boomstick: Geez, how many times have we said the word "manipulate"? Wiz: I say a lot. Anyway, Discord can also manipulate the weather by making rain clouds go crazy, causing thunder storms. Boomstick: Discord can also create any paradox and do many impossible things. Wiz: Discord is able to make things float into the air, and making objects lighter or heavier. He is also able to hear sounds far, far away. Boomstick: He is also deceptively strong, enough so to take a tree out of the ground. He can also change the color of Twilight's friends and even himself. Wiz: Discord is able to show his thought in reality such as showing Twilight Sparkle and Princess Cadence a flower that will cure "blu flu". He can also inflict ponies with any kind of diseases and illnesses. Boomstick: Discord is able to appear in reflections such as three diamonds on a wall that resemble Rarity's cutie mark. Wiz: Despite his age, Discord is shown to be skilled at water skating as well as ice skating. Speaking of which, Discord seems to be immortal, as he has stayed in his stone prison for thousands of years without dying. He is also persumably just as old, if not older, than Celestia and Luna. Boomstick: Discord is also quite the trickster. He's good at tricking poines even making them believe in something. Wiz: Discord has the natural ability to sense major disturbances in magic, such as magic being stolen, or transferred into others. Discord can also use his tail to hold things, and can make his tail tuft into a hand. Boomstick: Discord possesses a razor sharp eagle claw that he can use to cut through dimensions. He can also manipulate and control the laws of nature into any way he desires. Wiz: Discord can also open portals to different dimensions by using his eagle claw to cut one open and is able to consume matter such as glass, picture, and a tea cub. Boomstick: He can also bring any inanimate object to life, grow extra body parts and alter the appearance of various objects. Wiz: Speaking of body parts, Discord can also make parts of his body come apart, and is able to move them. He can even use his head to possess a balloon. Boomstick: Meh, not as nightmare-inducing as that balloon face from Nostalgia Critic... Wiz: Discord has shown enough telekinetic skill to lift the entire Mane Six up magically and the ability to corrupt others and is skilled at hypnotic magic. He can even outright take control of someone's mind, though he prefers not to. Boomstick: Discord has ruled Equestria for an unprecedented period of time before being defeated by the Princesses, turned Ponyville into the Chaos Capital of the World and had Twilight not remembered the importance of friendship, she probably would have left Ponyville, which would have been left in chaos forever. Wiz: Discord's strengths are many, while his weaknesses are extremely few. Attacking him head-on is due to fail, as he can easily thwart any assault through his reality-warping power. However he is vulnerable to the Elements of Harmony, which have successfully turned him to stone twice. Using the Elements also dispells all of his chaotic magic, returning things to their rightful shapes and places. Boomstick: And one time, he had all his chaotic power drained by the diabolical Lord Tirek after he was manipulated by the latter. Wiz: One important weakness of Discord is himself. You see, Discord tends to be very overconfident and so assured of his own invincibility that he will not go all-out against enemies. In addition, his tendency to underestimate opponents means that he can be taken by surprise and defeated before having the chance to react. While intelligent, he is also not immune to being manipulated, and fell for Tirek's proposition to become allies, not suspecting that Tirek would betray him in the end. Also, prior to his redemption, he secretly wanted a friend, which allowed Fluttershy to sway him towards the side of good. Boomstick: Still, this is one spirit of chaos and disharmony you do not want to come across. Discord: Looks like we might be due for a big old storm of chaos! (Laughs) Deadpool Wiz: Wade Winston Wilson was once a travelling mercenary hoping to become the next greatest superhero like the X-Men. Unfortunately, fate had other plans. Boomstick: His idiot doctor told him he had cancer, resulting in him giving up on life, not taking his chemotherapy, and break up with his girlfriend. Wiz: Luckily for Wade, he was handed over to the Weapon X program and pumped with Wolverine's regenerative healing factor. It worked and he became indestructible.' ' Boomstick: Someone get DC on the phone. Wiz: However, the healing factor bonded with his cancer cells, leaving him horribly disfigured. Because of this, Deadpool got rejected from Weapon X and they sent him to the Hospice. However, the Hospice’s patients served as experimental subjects for Doctor Killebrew and his sadistic assistant Ajax. Boomstick: There, the subjects placed bets on how long each patient would live; a deadpool. Who wouldn't get it? Wiz: After enduring countless torturous experiments, he began taunting Ajax, who lobotomizing Deadpool’s only friend Worm and tearing out Wade’s heart. Unfortunately for Ajax, Wade's thirst for vengeance activated his healing factor and after he killed Ajax, he escaped with his inmates, who urged me to take up the name Deadpool-- Deadpool appears again. Deadpool: '♪DEADPOO--♪'' The sound of a gun firing repeatedly is heard. Deadpool: OK, OK, OK, I'll go! Deadpool leaves. Wiz: Deadpool uses his trusty twin katanas to slice, slash and stab his adversaries. And when he's not fighting up close, he shoots them to death with two machine guns, which he named Butter and I Can't Believe It's Butter for some reason. 'Boomstick: He can also use twin sais in combat and even crushes his enemies with twin hammers. What's better than one weapon? Two, damnit! ' Wiz: Deadpool can also use traps and throwing weapons, like frag and flashbang grenades, landmines and bear traps. His teleporter belt allows him to teleport short distances. '''Boomstick: His firearms are pistols, shotguns and pulse rifles. He also reaches into his Magic Satchel if he ever needs any more weapons or ammo. Wiz: The Magic Satchel holds unlimited weapons and ammo, although it's existence as an actual thing is ridiculous. Boomstick: Deadpool also possesses serious durability. He can survive skyscrapers collapsing on top of him, being liquefied by the Hulk and even nuclear explosions. Wiz: Deadpool's sheer durability and his artificial healing factor are the two main reasons why it is so difficult to kill Deadpool. He can regenerate entire limbs and organs in mere seconds. His healing factor actually trumps Wolverine's, as he survived having his entire head obliterated. And in case you don't remember, Wolverine's healing factor is linked to his brain. However, Deadpool can be killed in three ways: By decapitating him and keeping his head away from his body, drowning him and destroying every single cell. Boomstick: Deadpool is without a doubt the deadliest mercenary in comic book history. He has tangled with Thanos on occasions, navigated an obstacle course meant for Iron Man-like suits unscathed, casually battled Red Hulk and he's the only one to ever outwit Taskmaster, who has photographic reflexes. Wiz: And due to his insanity, he is immune to mind-reading by psychics, mind control by outside sources, and even Ghost Rider’s Penance Stare. Boomstick: Do you think Sektor is immune to it, Wiz? Wiz: Probably, since both Deadpool and Sektor are insane. However, Deadpool's insanity sometimes creates problems such as voices in his head. And despite his staggering durability and regeneration, Deadpool has been brought down before. Boomstick: Another problem with his healing factor is that Deadpool can become quite careless in a fight. However, Deadpool's dream of becoming the next great superhero finally came true. And if you disagree, consider yourself dead...pool. Deadpool: Forget S.H.I.E.L.D., Forget rules, Forget that these shiny sticks are swords and hop right on. DEATH BATTLE! Deadpool is sitting on his couch.He is watching Tv but finds nothing good.Why is there nothing good on.Deadpool brings the head of Deathstroke out.What do you think DeathStroke?I think we should keep looking.Good idea.Flips to My Little Pony.Hey is the Pony show. Hello guy who looks like a pickle.Did you just talk to me?Who else would i be talking too ugly?The pot calling the Kettle Black.That's a face not even a mother could love replied Discord.At least i am not friend zoned by a scared little pony.Althrough i am susprised she didn't run after seeing how ugly you are?I guess she has terrible taste in guys.Hmmm she is single maybe i could get a date with her.You will do no such thing.I would never let Fluttershy date anyone as rude and ugly looking as you.Oh is that right.Well in that case i guess we have to settle this the old fasion way.Discord telports into the show.Oh you can break the fourth wall too how fun said Discord.Enough talk let's fight.I am not holding back replied Discord.Good replied Deadpool i want this to be some what of a challenge. Fight Deadpool pulls at his guns.bang bang.Discord melts the bullets.Well that didn't work.Discord brought the trees to life to attack Deadpool.Well that is new.A army of tree march toward Deadpool.Deadpool brings at his Sword.time to cut some trees.Deadpool's teleports tree to tree cut them down one by one but they reassemble. You got to be kidding me.Hahaha replied Discord. Wait a minute why focus on them if i can go after you instead.Discord turns his guns into Rabbits.Oh that's why.The tree's smack Deadpool into Twilight's Castle.Deadpool lands on the table next to Twilight and Applejack.Hello Princess Hello AppleJack.Why is their a deranged looking human in a costume in our castle?You know fighting that weird creature to win Fluttershy's heart.I don't expect you to understand love.What does that mean replied Twilight.Nothing.Welp see ya.Deadpool teleports away.Wait did he say he is fighting a weird looking creature.They both look at each other and says Discord. Deadpool teleports behind Discord and hits him in the head.Owww.That was a cheap shot.All is fair and love is war.Discord Low blows Deadpool.That was right in the kiwi's.Thats payback for attacking me while i wasn't looking.Deadpool get's up.No more Mr.Nice Pool.The tree's grab Deadpool and hurl him into the air,catches him and then smack him to the ground back and fourth.Then the trees Deadpool into one of the buidlings.That should take care of that.Deadpool telports behind Discord and low blows him.Now you know how i feel. Fluttershy comes running up.Stop it you two.You are behaving like barbians.But Fluttershy he said some terrible stuff about you and said he wanted to be your girlfriend.First of all that will never happen.Second of all that is no reason to start a fight and destroy some much of peoples property.You should be ashamed of yourself.Deadpool is laughing at Discord getting scowled by Fluttershy.And you are no bette calling people names,starting fights and wrecking peoples homes and property. To be honest i really don't care replied Deadpool.Oh and i am totally over you.I mean who would want to be with a a pony won't say a word other most of the time and get's way too angry over some minor damages.How do you replied Discord.Let me handle this Discord.Fluttershy gives him the stare.That's not going to work on me.Deadpool starts cracking.I am sorry i am sorry.I will help fix everything i destroyed.really?No i was joking.Deadpools brings out his gun.It's been nice knowing you.not.Deadpool shoots his gun but Discord slows down time and is able to turn the bullets into butterflies. Discord restores time to it's proper place.Deadpool looks at Discord and then Fluttershy.Did you just slow down time?Discord mealts deadpools gun.NO ONE TRIES TO HURT FLUTTERSHY.Oh no replied Fluttershy.I am going to make sure you never can hurt Fluttershy ever again.Deadpool brings out his Carbinaium Sword.Discord telports it to deadpools chest.Oh well that backfired.Discord turns Deadpool a baseball and tmakes a bat.Please have mercy.NO.Discord throws the ball and teleports and hits the ball so hard it goes into the sun. K.O. Results Boomstick:Holy Crap that was brutal. Wiz:While Deadpool had his regen that was the only thing he had going for him.But Discord's reality Warping powers render that completely useless.Not to mention the curse from Thanos was lifted so he can die now, Boomstick:Discord outclasses deadpool in speed due again to his Reality Warping.He can speed up or slow down the area around him .He can even do this to a greater extent.He made day and night go faster in Equestria. Wiz:Most of Deadpools attacks would be useless since Discord could easily get rid of them.What about Deadpool's carbenium Sword?Well Discord could and would get rid of it when Deadpool brings it out. Boomstick:What about Deadpool's fourth Wall Breaking?Well Deadpool's fourth wall breaking has its limits.It can't grant Deadpool a 100 percent victory.Not to meantion Discord can also break the fourthwall Which counters Deadpool abilty to breack the fourth wall. Wiz:What about experience? Well while Deadpool has had many years training and having countless missions Discord's Experience by far outclasses Deadpool.Discord has lived for thousands of years.Unlike Deadpool who has only lived for around 30 years. I guess Deadpool striked out. The winner is Discord. Who do you think will win? Discord Deadpool Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:'Marvel vs Hasbro' themed Death Battles Category:'Disney vs Hasbro' themed Death Battles Category:'Hero vs. Anti-Hero' themed Death Battles Category:Death Battles with a returning combatant Category:Death Battles with a Returning OMM Combatant Category:'Toon Force' themed Death Battles Category:Adopted by corspy98 Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:"Male vs Male" Themed Death Battles Category:Human vs Creature themed DEATH BATTLEs Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2016